5 reasons reading CrunchGear is a worse idea now than ever before

By Leon Bailey on Fri 17 October 2008

The folks over at CrunchGear have come up with five reasons for why damaging a MacBook "is a worse idea now than ever before". Go read them, then come back here and read why we think every single one of their 'reasons' is stupid. Not to mention how they overlooked the best reason of all to not damage a new MacBook...

1. The glass screen is irreparable if broken (obviously)
Yes, "obviously". To be fair, this point isn’t without merit, but then most glass things are irreparable if broken – like a glass, say. So Apple considers the display a single component now. So what? Broken hard disks could technically be ripped apart to replace wonky platters but they’re considered a single component these days, because they’re just too much hassle to repair. This is what happens in the commoditised world. Sure, it’s not a cheap component – so put the MacBook on your insurance. Next!

2. The unibody design means you can’t just replace the dented bit
Well, blow us – you scraped your shiny toy and you can’t replace the scuffed part? Did you know there are children starving in Africa? Besides, we’ve seen the MacBook unibody case design and it’d take some denting. If you do happen to graze it, then brush it down with a Brillo pad or something. Next!

3. It tells on you if you spill
This is because moisture sensors under the MacBook’s hood will alert Apple engineers if there’s been liquid inside. And? Is CrunchGear advocating that owners of older, non-liquid-sensing equipment lie about the cause when sending a soaked system in for repair? Surely not. Next!

4. The keyboard is nearly impossible to fix or replace
That’s "nearly impossible", mark you. Not "actually impossible". So, "possible", then. And stop drinking so much half-decaf skinny lattés alongside your silly toy computers, you San Franciscan stereotypes, you. Next!

5. You’ll go down in history
Finally, if you break your MacBook’s glass screen with a Wiimote, "you’ll go down in history" says CrunchGear. Well, yes, you will. You’ll go down in history for looking at the wrong screen while playing your Wii games (perhaps having just spilled a half-decaf skinny latté on your chinos). Next!

Oh, that’s the end. But wait! Silly CrunchGear missed the best reason to not damage your new MacBook: keep it working for long enough and eventually – eventually – you’ll realise just how bloody awful OS X is, not to mention how much more like Beelzebub Apple is than Microsoft has ever been, you blinkered, fanboy fools. Happy Friday...

[CrunchGear]

Comments


Comment 1
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Jeff 04:17 on 18 Oct 2008

how dare you blast crunchgear, they are an entertaining and informative blog. you bounders.. this article is clearly crazed and on the defense.. and I don't like apple either.

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Comment 2
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asm 04:44 on 18 Oct 2008

YOU FAIL.
This article is plain stupid. Although, that's a pretty good picture of you, I have to admit!

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Comment 3
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Eric 04:48 on 18 Oct 2008

Not sure what you are trying to do here, other than slur someone else's content with even lamer sarcastic content. Why bother?

This is the only time I've visited this site. It's also the last. Jerk.

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Comment 4
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Unknown 04:51 on 18 Oct 2008

Wow what a useless post. Seriously I hope you dont get any type of monetary compensation from writing such crap like this. Its utterly trash talking crunchgear just because you dont like americans in general. Go write something better than a whiny rant on a solid blog that tends to reason once in a while.

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Comment 5
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flunkycarter 06:42 on 18 Oct 2008

I mean... This article isn't even well written and witty and sarcastically undertone enough to be funny. Rewrite then I'll get a chuckle. Leon Bailey you're a gunther.

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Comment 6
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Gus_Chi 11:37 on 18 Oct 2008

You obviously had an ulterior motive when it came to publishing this article

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Comment 7
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Electric Vagabond 12:48 on 18 Oct 2008

I started off thinking this was gonna be a laugh but you don't have to lower yourself to insulting other publications! You guys are respected in the community no need for this stuff. And any site that refers to starving kids in Africa while effectively promoting consumerism is a little bit tongue in cheek don't you think?

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Comment 8
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Maurice the Boris 13:25 on 18 Oct 2008

Whats crunchgear?

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Comment 9
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matthew Burns 13:35 on 18 Oct 2008

My goodness, Leon. WTF crawled up your tight, Jewish ass. I found that CrunchGear post to be informative which unlike yours, provided some insight. Did you know that the new MacBooks had moisture sensors? I didn't and that's why I read blogs more than sites like yours.

Oh and fanboy-ish, that's you, chump. OS X isn't perfect, but it's a hell of a lot better to use than Vista. I dare say you would agree if you ever gave it the 'ol college try.

Seriously though, I wouldn't pick on playground's big kid. They have 10's of millions more monthly readers than your little publication here, so why don't you just sulk back to you little corner of the Internet. I surely will not be back.

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Comment 10
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Travis H 15:55 on 18 Oct 2008

Ripping on a blog's numbered list with a fanboy perogative is just about the lamest thing one can do. Success Mobile Computer Magazine and Leon Bailey! Way to prove the douchyness of you and your so-called publication (which I had never heard of until now).

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Comment 11
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Julian Prokaza | registered | 58 posts 18:11 on 18 Oct 2008

I think you'll find that Leon wrote the whole piece with his tongue firmly in his cheek...

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Comment 12
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Leon Bailey 18:55 on 18 Oct 2008

Glad you all liked it!

Leon 'tight-ass Jew' Bailey

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Comment 13
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flunkycarter 21:56 on 18 Oct 2008

umm... we didn't.

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Comment 14
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Leon Bailey 23:34 on 18 Oct 2008

Man, do I ever hate Vista. [b]Next![/b]

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Comment 15
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Leon Bailey 00:31 on 19 Oct 2008

[b]Next![/b]

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Comment 16
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David Ryan 07:46 on 19 Oct 2008

Dear Mr Leon Bailey,

Your article's not the best article ever. That's "not the best article ever" mind you. Not "actually the best". So, "WORST EVER", then. NEXT!

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Comment 17
neutral
apple is for tards 17:40 on 19 Oct 2008

a mac fanboy ripping on crunchgear for telling it like it is?

I'm not surprised.

Speaking of starving african children, 2000 for a sub-par mac laptop?

Mac laptop owners are people with too much time and money on their hands

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Comment 18
neutral
Paully 10:26 on 20 Oct 2008

Maybe you wouldn't be so angry if you were a Mac user... instead you're a frustrated jealous fool!

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Comment 19
neutral
Aura 18:03 on 25 Oct 2008

I actually thought that CrunchGear's post was interesting, and on the whole informative, this is a pointless waste of space.First time visiting the website, and the last (like an above poster).And yeah, I hate Apple, and yeah I'm not a fan of M$ either, but that last comment really wasn't required, those who dislike OSX know its crap, those who like it know its good.

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